Nothing can replace you, nor can time erase you

I could spend every remaining moment of my life with you.  I could just be with you, and do nothing else, and I wouldn’t miss a thing. Some part of me holds on to a time when that was still a reality. Now it’s not even possible. So much has changed. You have changed.

I remember a simpler time when my future held you, and I didn’t know what else, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I had you. I thought nothing could change that. What changed exactly? Perhaps I will never know. I spent so much time blaming myself for not knowing how to accept the new you. As more time passes, I have begun to wonder if you left out of fear. Did you think I would judge you? Did you think I would love you any less? Did you really think you could do anything to make me turn my back on you? Maybe you just left before any of that could happen. Maybe you had less faith in me than I thought.

I don’t even know you now, but somehow feel a connection I don’t think I will ever lose. I can talk to you without a guard, share myself with you. But you’re not the same person I used to love. I still love you but you don’t care anymore. Your life is somehow fine without me. You don’t feel the emptiness that  I feel knowing I will never call you mine. I piece of me missing, a spot that can never be filled. Nothing can replace you, nor can time erase you. I need you more than ever now. You don’t know, and will never care. You didn’t even want me to take this picture. You were too scared someone might see it. I miss the way it used to be. I miss the us we were meant to become.

~ by dear kansas on August 28, 2011.